A Spoonfull of Sugar

11 Years ago I came to the realisation that the church is not ‘true’, like most people through the course of studying church materials, facts previously unknown to me caused me to question the claims taught in Sunday School and ones that I taught as a missionary and teacher in the church.

It was a real mind-job, knocked both me and my wife for six. I was angry and wanted to tell everyone what I had found, I wanted the church named, shamed and destroyed.

I have mellowed since then, and learned wisdom.

The church may be wrong in a number of areas, and it’s foundational events may not be what it claims, but what is has created is thousands of communities of people that in the most part (there are always exceptions!) are looking to do the right thing by their fellow humans.

If they are happy in their attendance of the church, and they are not harming others then what right do I have in jumping in and bursting that bubble? That’s not to say that I won’t answer honestly if they ask me about my disbelief but I will do it in a sensitive and caring way, making sure to ask if they really want to hear what I have to say, as it may be uncomfortable for them, and always doing it with concern for them.

Over the years I have seen people on crusades to either ‘get the TBMs to wake up’ or ‘destroy the church’ the problem with that it does have casualties, the first reaction of most people when they see a threat is to put the walls up, and either hunker down or attack back. I think the ‘crusading’ approach is wrong, I am aware that TBM’s are often on crusades to us, but when have 2 wrongs ever made a right? And in fact you will then just re-enforce the belief that anyone who leaves the church is a ‘bad’ person.

The greatest lesson to a TBM is to see someone who no longer believes, not turn into an arsehole, but as an example of a balanced, compassionate human being, all good qualities not inspired by a belief in God, but just being a good person.

I would love to see ex/nom/jack/anti mormons, start changing their stance, to a more compassionate ‘what can I do to help’ one that is not going to burn bridges, and maybe educate our still believing friends.

8 thoughts on “A Spoonfull of Sugar

  1. I shared your post on my blog and like I said there, I am not at the point to let it all go yet, but I will get there. Thank you for this post.

    PS what are the names you have at the end? Nom/Jack….heard of ex/anti but not the others

    1. Thanks for the share & comment LR, so NOM = New Order Mormon (Google it) and JackMormon is what they used to call NOM’s back in the day….

      1. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nom
        The first result when I googled it…I’d rather ask the person using the term.

        So, are these people just the cherry pickers of beliefs? “I’ll believe families are forever and everyone can be saved even after death like you do, but I don’t know about becoming a god, blood atonement, and polygamy.” In the old days these people would just open a new sect of the church…..maybe a bunch of Jacks/NOMs need to just find the right sect, there’s a bunch of them ones bound to match what they believe.


  2. While I certainly think that it’s wise not to burn bridges and rock the boat, I guess I would wonder about this thing you wrote:

    If they are happy in their attendance of the church, and they are not harming others then what right do I have in jumping in and bursting that bubble?

    I think it is great that recently, the church has toned down its political forays, but I still think about Prop 8 in California, and I think that these are examples where members, in their attendance of the church, were harming others. Lessons on chastity/modesty that analogize girls losing their virginity to being “licked cupcakes” or “chewed gum” or whatever else harm others, in my view.

    And I mean, ultimately, if the church changed its rhetoric, that would be fine. But it seems to me that the question of whether the church’s teachings are good also has to be considered — not just the question of whether the church’s claims are true.

  3. Having worked with Mormons in particular a graham john McMullen. I have to say I have been shocked, sadden and disgusted at his double standard values. However having worked with others of this faith I have been impressed by their family values.
    Surprised that McMullen is still allowed to profess to be a member. Maybe the church will act to protect themselves from such bad examples as him and Raymond Leslie Hopwood.

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